Self-Care
You know how it is, right? You finally get through that day. The kids are in bed, and you’re collapsed on the couch ready to spend a little time for yourself. Maybe you’ll paint your nails or watch some TV, but as soon as your head hits the pillow you remember, “Shit, I forgot to take care of myself today.”
Taking care of yourself can be tough when you have parents at home all day. Parents need so much attention and support and it’s hard not to feel like we should focus exclusively on them first. But if we forget about our own needs, we end up feeling burned out…and then guilty because we aren’t doing enough around the house.
In the past, I’ve talked about what parents need and how to plan for care, but today we want to talk about some ways you can take care of yourself:
Take a shower. I know it seems like the most basic thing in the world, but showers are amazing! They make us feel clean and refreshed and ready to face the day (or night). If you’re feeling really daring, get in your jammies and put on a face mask while you shower. You’ll be able to relax knowing that when you get out, you’re all set for bed.
Practice self-care. This might sound weird at first but hear me out. Taking time during your day for activities that help keep your body and mind healthy is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It might be something as simple as taking a walk around the block or doing some yoga, but it’s important to carve out time in your schedule for self-care. This helps keep us at our peak ability, so we have enough energy to take care of our parents!
Make lists. I know this tip is really basic too, but lists are great! They help us remember everything that we need to do so we don’t feel overwhelmed trying to juggle all our responsibilities at once. Plus, they give us a sense of accomplishment when they’re crossed out…and ideally before they’ve turned into an unmanageable mess on the table.
Eat well. A healthy diet is one of the most basic things we can do to feel good throughout the day. It sounds simple, but when you’re exhausted or on-edge from parenting all day, it’s easy to forget that eating healthy keeps us going.
Say “no.” We all need a break every now and again and parents are no exception. It takes practice to get better at determining when we need a breather and learning how to take one…but don’t be afraid to say “no.” You won’t lose your job if you tell your boss, you can’t handle ten projects right now; in fact, they’ll probably respect you more for being honest with them than constantly pushing yourself past limits just so can meet everyone else’s needs.
Delegate. Sometimes it’s just not possible to take care of everything on our own and that doesn’t make us bad parents! If something is weighing you down too much, it’s okay to ask a partner or a friend for help. This is another important thing we can teach our kids: asking for help isn’t always a sign of weakness, sometimes it just means being rational about your ability to handle things.
I hope these tips have been helpful! They’re all basic things that add up over time…if you try them out let me know how they work for you. Send me an email at sean@werhope.org. Thank you for reading!